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This website does not guarantee the accuracy of any information and users cannot sue us for stupidly believing everything they read. Most of what is on this website is bullshit and should be treated as such. Moreover, use of the word "bullshit" shall not constitute an insult to any users of this website or any person living or dead except Hitler. Accordingly, we do not guarantee the accuracy, timeliness, reliability or completeness of any of the information contained on, downloaded or accessed from this website.
The performance of this website and all information contained on, downloaded or accessed from this website are provided to you on an "as is" basis, without warranties of any kind whatsoever, including any implied warranties or warranties of merchantability, fitness for a particular purpose or non-infringement of the rights of third parties. If something weird happens to your computer because you accessed this website, you cannot blame us in any way. We will tolerate one nasty note and nothing more. You are allowed other actions, legal or otherwise, only if you stand in the middle of the Central Park Zoo (NYC) naked and scream the words: "I am not insane. I can hear these animals begging to be released." You must do this for one hour or until your arrest.
We reserve the right to modify, disable access to or discontinue, temporarily or permanently, any part or all of this website or any information contained thereon without liability or notice to you. We tell you this for no particular reason since you cannot do much about it anyway.
As a visitor to our website, you acknowledge and agree that any reliance on or use by you of any information available on this website shall be entirely at your own risk. In no event shall Michaelburns.net nor any of its data providers, friends, allies or hangers-on be liable for any direct, indirect, consequential or exemplary damages arising from the use or the performance of this website. And don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out!
We do not do pop-ups and do not give a rat's ass about your personal information. And we are not going to protect it. If you are a jerk online and slander someone and they want your IP address they can have it if our web hoster (web.com), ipaddresslocation.org, Disqus or Google Analytics can provide it. We're are not here to protect you from lawsuits. This may change, as noted above.
Confidentiality and Transmissions over the Internet
The transmission of data or information (including communications by e-mail) over the Internet or other publicly accessible networks is not secure, and is subject to possible loss, interception or alteration while in transit. Accordingly, we do not assume any liability for any damage you may experience or costs you may incur as a result of any transmissions over the Internet or other publicly accessible networks, such as transmissions involving the exchange of e-mail with us (including those which may contain your personal information). We don't care. We make no efforts to safeguard the privacy of the information you provide us, period. All submissions to this website via email or otherwise becomes our property to make life easier, on us. You accept this and live with it. It's too much work otherwise. In no event will the information you provide to us be deemed to be confidential, create any fiduciary obligations to you on our part, or result in any liability to you on our part in the event that such information is inadvertently released by us or accessed by third parties without our consent.
User Conduct and Obligations
You agree to follow all applicable laws and regulations when using this website and further agree that you will not transmit junk mail, chain letters, or other unsolicited bulk e-mail or duplicative messages to any email address listed on this site without agreeing to pay to Michael J. Burns the sum of US$10,000 per item.
Indemnification by User
Third Parties and Links
Our policy is to comply with all intellectual property laws and to act quickly upon receiving any notice of claimed infringement. If you believe that your work has been reproduced on this website in a manner that constitutes copyright infringement, please let us know immediately by sending email to .